Farkle thoughts
by Hugs6
Summary: A intense look into the brain of Farkle Minkus. Went a bit deeper than I thought it would, but hey, why not? Don't read if you want to love Stuart Minkus, but a lot of BMW and GMW fans don't so... read on!
1. Chapter 1

**I'm a girl meets world fan. I'm not really look at every detail obsessed, but I was thinking about Farkle. Well... Here:**

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><p>Farkle sat at the kitchen table doing homework. He always sat at the kitchen homework. He always checked and re-checked easy math problems until his dad came home just so the first thing his dad would do when he got home was talk to him. He loved his dad and never doubted that his dad loved him back, but sometimes he felt a bit unsure about things. Wouldn't you be uneasy if you knew your dad loved someone more than he would ever love your mom? Someone who was actually the mother of your best friend? He hated the thought that his dad was still hung up on Riley's mom, and sometimes he feared that his dad would never be able to love him that much because he wasn't the son of the woman his dad had wanted. It was exhausting to think about.<p>

"Hello Farkle." His dad said, strolling into the kitchen, wearing his fancy suit and a smug smile. He wore that smug smile a lot. That, "I have everything I want why would you think otherwise?" smile. The smile was a liar. His father wanted more. He wanted Topanga and it was a sick obsession. An obsession that made it hard for Farkle to sleep at night. One that made things tense between his mom and dad. One that made Farkle want to scream, scream things like, "JUST GET OVER HER DAD." Or, "THIS WHOLE THING IS INSANITY WHY DO YOU EVEN PRETEND TO LOVE EACH OTHER?" He honestly believed that his mom actually loved his dad, and that his dad just pretended to love her back because nothing else would love him. But Farkle loved his dad. He looked up to and admired him and it was painful to know that his dad was... A fraud. A fake. Sort of an actor, like Maya's mom. Putting on a show for everyone. Pretending he was happy, pretending that his job and his money and his family made him happy. But he wasn't happy. Farkle could tell that his father wasn't happy. He pretended to pull Farkle close but every sign pointed to his dad really wanting to push him away. It was terrifying. He wanted his dad to care about him and his mom more than anything else in the world. But the way he'd looked at Topanga on career day. Compared to the way he looked at his wife, treating her as if she was a boring toy that he'd outgrown long ago. Putting her on display for whoever was interested but not really taking an interest in her at all. No, no that's wrong. He didn't just put his wife on display, he put his wife and son on display. Showing off, showing, look how amazing my family is, is your family this amazing? No. I doubt that it is. Go cry in the corner, completely ashamed.

But Farkle never felt that his dad was proud of him except when his dad was acting, playing the part of a proud father. And that was empty, meaningless. Fake. And Farkle bought it. Time and time and again he hoped that his father was actually proud of him but no. No he never was. It was agonizing.

"How's homework coming along?" His dad asked casually.

"I'm done." Farkle said. And his dad took it to mean that he was done with that day's assignments, which he was. But Farkle meant more. He'd seen how much Mr. Matthews actually cared about Riley. And his teacher cared also about Maya and Lucas and even him. Mr. Matthews cared more about Farkle than his own dad did. And seeing that, that kind of caring and unconditional love and all of that, that made him fed up with the act his dad put on. So he wad done with being lied too, done with being put on display, and done with letting his dad's false pride matter to him.

Farkle stood up, exited the kitchen, and went in to his mom's room, where they talked about life and homework and his dad and everything. Because Farkle loved his mom. And she actually cared about him. And she would support him being done, even if she wasn't able to completely get over Stuart Minkus' obvious fakeness.

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><p><strong>Wow that was intense. <strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**So two people wanted a second chapter and so here goes nothing. I'm actually a bit scared that I won't be able to live up to the first one but I have an idea so I'm just going to write. This is set the day after Farkle decides he's done.**

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><p>He woke up in the morning, 6:30 same time as always. He might swing by and walk to school with Maya and Riley. Maybe not. He didn't feel like it. He loved his friends, so so much, but... He didn't feel like it this morning. He was still thinking. Still thinking about his decision to be done with his father's falsehood. He wished he could come right out and say it, say, "Dad I'm done with you. I can't take it anymore you don't treat me like you're supposed to treat your kid and I know you're not even trying, so I'm done." but he couldn't say it. So he ate breakfast with the man who could make him feel sky high or rock bottom. His dad rushed off to work and Farkle slowly, thoughtfully made his way to school.<p>

He got there early. Earlier than he ever got there. He went to Mr. Matthew's class and sat at his desk and rested his head on the table, thinking, wondering, trembling. He couldn't hide it, he was scared. He'd been so sure about being done with his dad when it had occurred to him. And he was done, he hated being on display, but there was nothing he could do. He couldn't tell him, and he couldn't directly show him, and... He didn't have secrets with his friends, with his **BEST FRIENDS**, he didn't keep secrets from Maya or Riley or even Lucas. He just didn't do that. They meant the world to them. He wanted them always to know what was going so they would never have a reason not to trust him. And yet he didn't want them to know about his dad. He was worried what they'd think, if they'd judge his dad or worry about him or try to cheer him up or what. And he didn't want anything to change. He wanted to keep everything between him and his mom, but mostly him, because his mom was acting like they hadn't talked the night before. That was perfectly fine with Farkle, he didn't want his dad finding out. He knew his dad would be even more disappointed in him, and while he SO wanted to not care about that, he really sort of did. And he hated that he did.

Maya and Riley came in laughing and talking, also early, and saw Farkle.

"Hey Farkle!" Riley said brightly.

"Hey." Farkle said, studying the chalk board intently.

"Something wrong?" Riley asked. Maya was silent, she was playing with her hoodie strings, understanding how awkward this situation was and not wanting to butt in.

"No, I'm good I just didn't get a lot of sleep." He answered half honestly.

"Oh, okay. So how'd you do on the math homework?"

"I think I did pretty good..." Farkle was relieved that the topic had switched to something else but he was also oddly upset that he hadn't told Maya and Riley what was bothering him. He felt empty inside and the fact that he'd lied to a friend was really hurting. Things only got worse when class began and he actually fell asleep. He'd only dozed off in class once or twice and never on accident. Mr. Matthews was suddenly there standing over him, trying to see how many post it notes he could stick on him. Farkle couldn't twenty six. Riley later told him there were thirteen stuck on the back of his shirt. Farkle was humiliated, but was also troubled. He'd gotten so little sleep the night before he'd fallen in sleep in class, which was troubling itself, but the fact that he was still angry at himself for lying to his friends. So when Lucas asked him, dutifully pulling off a post it note Farkle couldn't reach, if he was okay, Farkle almost snapped. It was lunch and he was frustrated and all three of his friends were just looking at him like, "Well?" So he just buried his head in his arms and he muttered ever so quietly,

"No." He didn't look up. He didn't want to see his friends faces. He didn't want to know they were worried about him or that Riley was upset at him for lying to him earlier. He didn't want to see that. If he looked up though, he knew he would. A mix of worry and upset, that would probably mask his own face when he was alone and sad. So he didn't look up. Not for a long moment.

"What's wrong then?" Lucas asked gently, as if he were talking to a child, which is how Farkle felt. Farkle sighed, bringing himself to look up.

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><p><strong>CLIFFHANGER. Not really...<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**In a week GMW has a Farkle oriented episode called Girl meets flaws. It should be fantastic!**

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><p>Riley's eyes looked sad. She looked concerned, what Farkle hadn't wanted. Maya frowned, looking at him like, you said you were fine.<p>

Farkle told them everything. Lucas put his hand on his shoulder comfortingly. Riley was biting her lip as if she was trying to figure things out, because Riley always wanted to figure things out and make them work, make them fit. Farkle knew things wouldn't fit though. Not now. Maybe not ever, if things were going the way they were now. Maya took a deep breath.

"I understand." She said.

"I understand about bad parents trust me I do. About a father not being a good father. Even when you think no one else understands remember that I do. Its hard to share. But we have good friends Farkle. Its going to be okay. We have good friends." Maya looked him straight in the eye. Farkle sighed and smiled at his friends. The burden on his chest felt a little lighter now that his friends knew about his struggle, but it was still tough to think about. His heart ached a little, thinking about all the years where he'd pretended to be okay with the way his father acted. But Maya understood and even if Lucas and Riley might not completely understand, they'd both be there for him. Lucas' firm hand on his shoulder was keeping him from collapsing into a sobbing knew Riley would try to fix everything and her trying was enough to make him smile. He did have good friends.

"Yeah." Farkle said, with a small nod.

"So what do I do now?"

"Two more classes before the days over and then its the weekend. You can stay at my house over the weekend, I know my mom will let you, she thinks you're a genius, so you don't have to confront your dad or even think about it until you're ready to." Lucas said.

"And we can all hang out after school." Riley added, smiling at him. Farkle smiled back. He was happy that his friends were sticking up for him. He didn't understand why he'd wanted to keep his pain a secret. He would have only kept it bottled up and it would only have hurt him more. His friends knew how to help him. It was no use to keep secrets from them.

"You guys are amazing. I don't know how I'd even get through anything without you."

"Hey, you've helped us. Friends have each others backs." Riley said. Maya seemed to be thinking deeply. She then grinned.

"Hey Farkle, if you ever one to teach your dad a lesson... I know some pretty effective pranks..."

"No no no no no no." Riley intervened,

"You are not getting in trouble _AGAIN_." Farkle looked back and forth between his two best friends, put his head on the table for the second time that day, and this time, laughed. He laughed and laughed. Lucas laughed. Maya laughed. Riley laughed.

One of the teachers had to remind them to get to class, they were so caught up in their laughter fit. Farkle was happy. He was HAPPY. After a decision like practically giving up on your dad he hadn't thought he'd be happy like that for awhile. But he'd done something he tried never to do. He'd underestimated his friends. He had amazing friends, friends with the power to change not only his perspective on the world, but the entire world. His world at least. A world that had been so caught up in pleasing Stuart Minkus, it forgot to leave time for Farkle to be happy. Forgot to leave time for him to laugh with his friends, or spend the weekend with Lucas because he was so worried about his grades being pleasing to his dad or some tiny detail that only someone as arrogant as Stuart Minkus would care about. He was trying so hard to act perfect for his dad he didn't give a second's thought to what would make him happy. He never tried to be happy, it was always an accident. But now he didn't care about his dad's opinion anymore.

Now he could try to be happy. Now he could laugh with his friends.

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><p><strong>Just a guest wants a confrontational chapter between Farkle and his dad and I want to write it. After a weekend at lucas's house (the next chapter) I'll think about writing that confrontation. Its seems so exciting! Feel free to suggest!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Girl meets flaws was really good. Also, I tweeted the writers and they said Minkus is a good father also Farkle has siblings. Should I continue this? Please give your input.**

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><p>Farkle hurried home to get a some things for the weekend and had his mom drive him to Lucas' house before his dad could get home. He knew he'd have to confront his dad eventually but he really didn't want to. He was sort of scared.<p>

Lucas was waiting for him when he got there, Lucas led him inside, a big grin on his face.

"Hey mom, you remember my best friend Farkle right?" Farkle smiled too. Lucas really was his best friend.

"Yes of course, so glad you're spending the weekend with us." She smiled politely back. They went to Lucas's room and worked on their homework, joking and working together, a lot more fun than doing it alone nervously awaiting your father coming home. He figured he wouldn't do that anymore. No more waiting for his father's approval, he didn't really want it. He'd rather spend time with his friends than waste his life waiting for something he didn't really need.

When it came time for supper they had pizza and Farkle Lucas and his mom actually talked. At supper at home they didn't really say anything, it was an awkward silence that was nearly impossible to break. Farkle sighed a little to himself and ate a piece of pizza.

"Are you okay?" Lucas's mom asked, surprising Farkle. No one asked him that at home.

"Yeah, thanks for asking." He smiled at her and joined the conversation. It was a lot of fun. Lucas and Farkle stayed up all night laughing and joking and prank calling Riley and Maya. Farkle couldn't remember having this much fun in a really long time and he was glad he'd agreed to spend the night. They played board games and watched movies and Farkle forgot all about his problems, he just enjoyed spending time with his best friend. Nothing was better than this.

They barely got any sleep and were sprawled out next to each other on Lucas's bedroom floor conked out when his mom knocked on the door and told them that their were pancakes awaiting for them. They were exhausted but enthusiastically ate the pancakes. They got to watch one more movie before Farkle's mom came and picked him up, and suddenly the problems he'd so willingly forgotten about earlier came rushing back. A knot appeared in his stomach, and he began to fear going home.

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><p><strong>Sorry its short. Now that you know what the writer's officially said, should I keep the story going?<strong>


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